Yes! You.
Thandiwe; the loved one!
Though you feel everything but love.
I just want you to know I pray for you.
On that morning when auntie Jean came to pick you from school because Ma and Pa had got an accident. These were common in your area because of all the drunk teenagers usually driving home from the bards in the morning. However, this time you could tell it was different. It was your birthday.
Your whole world was gone. Ma, Pa and the little brother you were all excited about. You’d only turned 8; too young to comprehend what this meant for you.
That is when it came again, the dark cloud! But like I said this time it was different. It stayed!
But still I prayed for you.
As you listened into through the crack of the door as your family decided what Happens to you. You heard each of them explain why they wouldn’t have you. Auntie Jean wanted to keep you but well, she wasn’t part of the family!
“Ma and Pa always said l was such a good gift to have? Did they lie? Why does no one want me?”You thought.
ALONE!
Finally Uncle Uuka finally agreed to take you because his wife Them back was now heavily pregnant and might need some help around the house.
RESPONSIBILITY!
This was new, this was different but you’re a strong girl. As as Ma used to say “intelligent” so you learnt everything you needed to perform your role really fast!
4 years later, you still missed being a child; playing, shouting, dancing, going to school and all those other things children do but you knew that season had ended.
Except for school, you thought that should continue. So you asked Auntie Themba and she laughed so hard asking what money your parents left for you to go to school. She said you could get a job.
You walked the streets of Soweto but everyone said you were too young. They’d be arrested for making you work. “Go to school ,child”, they said.
“I am trying”,You thought but soon gave up and decided to wait till you were 16. You studied the books auntie Jean Kept sending in the parcels so that you didn’t stay so far behind. You missed her. You wished you could write back. They’d be so much to tell.
When you turned 16, you started to work at the Copier. Mr and Mrs. Botha were kind to you and paid you well. They even help you get into vocational school so you can study to become a secretary and gave you time off. They reminded you of Ma and Pa. You almost loved them but you don’t love people. People die and leave you alone so you settled for being fond of them.
Back at home, Uuka and his wife were expecting their 4th Baby.
So that meant you are now moving from your room to start sleeping in the living room. It was a bit sad because of the mosquitoes but it was okay because “what could they do? You already started to die on the inside. It’s also easier to wake up early to prepare the house when you’re in the living room”
ABUSE
By your 17th birthday, you were a beautiful, strong, young lady. People said you looked a lot like Ma and had PA’s eyes.
You had a bright smile. It was always has though life wasn’t what it was. Your breasts grew and your hips were so profound. You were so beautiful.You knew it. So did Uuka.
Old disgusting Uuka!
That night he came onto you and tore your little skirt apart and said you were of age. He had to have you.
It was so painful but again you were already starting to die on the inside. It was just pain. Nothing new. For you, it was life.
IDENTITY
Then it hit you!
VIrginity!
That was gone
What were you supposed to give to your “husband”
Are you worth anything anymore?
Who will have you?
Will you have to tell of this tale?
The cloud was a lot darker that day.
On that day it was clear, you had no family and no Hope!
And that’s where you drew courage!
It was time to move to the city.
Time to try and change the world.
After all, what did you have to lose?
There’s no one as dangerous as one who has nothing to lose
Time check
3am; you pack up your stuff and start to pass them out through the window
5am; you get up, make breakfast for the children
7am; excuse yourself to go out and buy something.
8am ; you’re sitted on the bus to the city.
The city is so big; so many big building with magnificent lights. It was indeed the city of dreams. It was a dream!
You get out of the bus just next to the sheraton; it was a familiar place you’d read about in the magazines. So you walked in there with your bag and asked for a job.
Thankfully, they needed a cleaner so they hired you!
You got a little cubicle so you finally had a place to put your bags and possibly sleep.
You liked to work at the Sheraton. You were appreciated. And even given a promotion. “I must clean so well”, you thought.
6 months later, one of the managers Mr. Collins needed A PA and of course you were quickly suggested. The pay was good. You could even afford an apartment and nice clothes.
To be continued…
Keishamaza 